It's Not Supposed to Be This Way by Lysa TerKeurst Review: A Scripture-Rich Guide to Surviving Shattering Disappointments

A nonfiction faith guide grounded in some of the most painful chapters of TerKeurst's own life, this book makes a case that disappointment — even devastating disappointment — can be the very thing that draws a person closer to God.

It's Not Supposed to Be This Way opens by challenging the widely repeated Christian platitude that "God will never give you more than you can handle." Lysa TerKeurst rejects that framing and instead invites readers to rethink the meaning of disappointment itself. Drawing directly on her husband's infidelity and her own diagnosis and treatment for breast cancer — she completed a double mastectomy and was cancer-free at the time of writing — TerKeurst argues that seasons of shattering do not signal God's absence or indifference. Rather, she positions those seasons as potentially essential to spiritual growth, particularly during stretches when God feels distant or silent. One of the book's recurring visual metaphors frames human brokenness through the lens of dust returning to its most basic form so that something new can be created from it. TerKeurst also addresses the pain of unanswered prayers and the specific wound of being let down by the people one most relies on for support.

TerKeurst is the author of Uninvited, among other titles, and is a prominent voice in the Christian women's nonfiction space. It's Not Supposed to Be This Way carries added weight because it does not draw on abstract spiritual principles alone — it is scaffolded by the author's own documented, publicly known crises. That willingness to make her personal pain the primary case study gives the book a confessional quality uncommon in faith-based self-help. Publishers Weekly, in its pre-publication review, noted that TerKeurst's "transparency, wit, and spiritual insight" distinguish the work, describing it as reading like "time spent in honest conversation with a trusted friend." The book was published by Thomas Nelson, one of the leading Christian publishing imprints, and was positioned for readers across a spectrum — from those managing daily disappointments to those facing what the author calls life-altering loss.

One of the book's clearest practical assets is its architecture. Each chapter closes with a "Going to the Well" section that bundles additional Scripture quotations, questions for group or personal discussion, and a prayer. Publishers Weekly observed that these elements function as a handy resource precisely at moments when readers who are in crisis may be least inclined to open a Bible independently. The design intent is evident: this is a book built to be used in community as much as alone, and the end-of-chapter apparatus supports that dual purpose. TerKeurst's prose style, which Publishers Weekly describes as "breezy," allows her to distill complex theological ground into accessible summations — the review quotes her directly: "Eve's disobedience seems to point to the same struggle I have when I don't like God's plan: surely I can do this better than God." That combination of conversational tone and concrete takeaways is a deliberate feature of the book's structure.

The book's Scripture-heavy approach is also its most significant limiting factor for certain audiences. Publishers Weekly explicitly notes that the text is "Scripture-heavy," and readers who are not already within a Protestant Christian framework — or who are in an early, questioning stage of faith — may find the density of biblical reference more demanding than comforting. The book does not appear to address disappointment from a secular psychological angle or offer frameworks that stand independent of Christian theology; its entire architecture assumes an active faith relationship with God as the destination readers are meant to move toward. Readers seeking grief support rooted in clinical or broadly spiritual (rather than specifically scriptural) approaches will find this a poor match. Similarly, those who have deep disagreements with evangelical interpretive frameworks may find TerKeurst's use of the Eve narrative as a lens on personal failing theologically pointed in ways that do not resonate.

For readers who share TerKeurst's faith tradition and are standing in the middle of a genuine crisis — a broken marriage, a medical diagnosis, a friendship that has collapsed — It's Not Supposed to Be This Way is structured to meet them where they are. Its group-study scaffolding also makes it a natural fit for church small groups, women's Bible studies, or faith-based support communities. The author's refusal to offer easy reassurance — her core argument actively dismantles the "God won't give you more than you can handle" comfort — gives the book an honesty that readers in genuine distress may find more credible than softer encouragement. For that specific reader, Publishers Weekly's verdict that TerKeurst's insight and candor make this a "skillfully crafted volume" carries real weight.