How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk (The How To Talk Series)
by Adele Faber, Elaine Mazlish
At a glance
About the Author
Adele Faber, Elaine Mazlish1 book reviewed
LuvemBooks Verdict
Best for
Parents, caregivers, and teachers who want concrete, repeatable communication techniques for reducing everyday friction with children — and who prioritise practical scripts over academic theory.
Worth it if
You are looking for immediately applicable, conversation-level tools to replace yelling or pleading, and you can adapt a framework rooted in the 1980s to your own family's context.
Skip if
You need deep developmental psychology, clinical research citations, or guidance differentiated by age group or specific behavioural and neurological needs — this book's universal toolkit approach does not go that far.
What readers & critics say
Barnes & Noble's product page collects press praise including the Christian Science Monitor's verdict that the book "will bring about more cooperation from children than all the yelling and pleading in the world," the Washington Post's description of it as "an excellent book that's applicable to any relationship," and the Family Journal's view that it is "practical, sensible, lucid." psychiatryresource.com awards the book a 10 out of 10, calling it "an excellent book about parenting through empathy and effective communication."
“Will bring about more cooperation from children than all the yelling and pleading in the world.”
— Christian Science Monitor (via Barnes & Noble)“An excellent book that's applicable to any relationship.”
— Washington Post (via Barnes & Noble)“Practical, sensible, lucid…the approaches Faber and Mazlish lay out are so logical you wonder why you read them with such a burst of discovery.”
— Family Journal (via Barnes & Noble)“An excellent book about parenting through empathy and effective communication. Rated 10 out of 10.”
— psychiatryresource.comLook inside the book
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- Is it worth reading?
- For parents and caregivers looking for actionable, conversation-level tools rather than a broad survey of child psychology, the record consistently positions this title as essential reading. The Boston Globe called it 'the ultimate parenting bible,' and the New York Times, Christian Science Monitor, and Washington Post have all weighed in with praise. The Family Journal noted that the approaches Faber and Mazlish lay out are 'so logical you wonder why you read them with such a burst of discovery' — pointing to the book's particular gift of making unfamiliar techniques feel intuitive once articulated. The main caveat: readers seeking clinical research citations or deep developmental psychology will find the coverage limited.
- Similar books
- Readers drawn to How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk will find strong companions in several related titles. No-Drama Discipline by Daniel J. Siegel M.D. and Tina Payne Bryson approaches child behavior through a brain-science lens, complementing Faber and Mazlish's technique-focused framework with more clinical grounding. The Power of Showing Up, also by Siegel and Bryson, shifts the focus to attachment and parental presence. Raising Resilient Children by Robert Brooks and Sam Goldstein offers a strength-based framework for building children's coping skills. Readers interested in exploring Faber and Mazlish's broader body of work may also want to seek out Siblings Without Rivalry and Liberated Parents Liberated Children, two other titles by the same authors that extend the communication principles into sibling dynamics and the parent-child relationship more broadly.
- Who should read this?
- The book's primary audience is parents and caregivers seeking concrete, immediately applicable communication techniques — not academic depth or clinical research. The Washington Post's observation that it is 'applicable to any relationship' points to a broader readership: teachers, school counselors, and anyone navigating communication with children in a professional context will find the framework relevant. Faber and Mazlish's group workshop programs have been used by thousands of parent and teacher groups worldwide, reflecting that utility beyond the home. Readers who come expecting a survey of developmental psychology or age-specific guidance for toddlers versus teenagers will find the scope limited.
- About Adele Faber, Elaine Mazlish
- Elaine Mazlish was an American author and parent educator who wrote about helping parents and teachers to communicate better with children. Both Faber and Mazlish are credited as #1 New York Times bestselling and award-winning authors.
- What are the main themes?
- The book's central themes revolve around building genuine communication and cooperation between adults and children. Specific areas include coping with a child's negative feelings such as frustration, anger, and disappointment; expressing parental feelings without being hurtful; engaging a child's willing cooperation; setting firm limits while maintaining goodwill; and using alternatives to punishment intended to foster self-discipline. Underlying all of these is a core conviction — reflected in the Christian Science Monitor's endorsement — that responsive, feeling-aware communication 'will bring about more cooperation from children than all the yelling and pleading in the world.'
- Is this a good book club pick?
- How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk lends itself well to group discussion, particularly for parenting groups, school communities, or caregiver networks — which aligns with how it has already been used: Faber and Mazlish's group workshop programs based on the book's methods have been adopted by thousands of parent and teacher groups worldwide. The structured, technique-focused format gives groups concrete scenarios to debate and practice. It is less suited to a traditional literary book club seeking thematic or narrative depth, but for any group focused on improving communication with children, it functions almost as a ready-made curriculum.
- Is it backed by research?
- The book's focus is squarely on communication technique rather than clinical research or developmental psychology, and LuvemBooks' review explicitly notes that readers seeking academic depth or evidence citations will find the coverage limited. Faber and Mazlish present their framework as a practical, experience-grounded toolkit rather than a peer-reviewed study. That said, the book's more than four-decade track record, five-million-plus copies sold, translations into over thirty languages, and active use in thousands of workshop programs worldwide constitute a substantial body of real-world validation, even in the absence of formal clinical citations.
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Age & Reading Level
Recommended age
Adult
Reading level
Adult
Skip if you're seeking deep developmental psychology, clinical research citations, or age-specific guidance for particular stages such as toddlers or teenagers.
Editorial Review
Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish's How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk is a #1 New York Times bestselling parenting guide — dubbed "the ultimate parenting bible" by The Boston Globe — that has sold more than five million copies and been translated into over thirty languages, offering parents a structured, technique-driven framework for building genuine communication and cooperation with children.
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