It's Not Supposed to Be This Way by Lysa TerKeurst Review: Raw, Scripture-Grounded Faith for the Shattered

It's Not Supposed to Be This Way opens by challenging the widely repeated Christian platitude that "God will never give you more than you can handle." TerKeurst — president of Proverbs 31 Ministries and author of the earlier Uninvited — grounds her argument not in abstract theology but in two of the most personal crises imaginable: her husband's infidelity and her own diagnosis and treatment for breast cancer, including a double mastectomy. From those two anchors, the book builds a case that disappointment — including unanswered prayers and being hurt by people one depends on — is not evidence of God's absence but can instead be essential to drawing closer to Him, particularly in seasons when God feels distant or silent. The publisher's description frames the book's core invitation as helping readers "wrestle well between faith and feelings" when life looks nothing like what was hoped or expected.

TerKeurst is one of the most visible voices in Christian women's nonfiction, and this book arrives with the full weight of that platform behind it. Reaching New York Times bestseller status, it sits within a tradition of Christian self-help and spiritual memoir that speaks directly to women navigating rejection, loss, and crisis of faith. What distinguishes it from comparable titles is TerKeurst's willingness to use her own ongoing, unresolved circumstances as the raw material — at the time of writing, she was recovering from surgery and still working through her marriage. That real-time vulnerability, rather than a tidy retrospective, gives the book its particular character within its genre.

Publishers Weekly praised TerKeurst's "transparency, wit, and spiritual insight," describing the result as a "skillfully crafted volume" that reads like "time spent in honest conversation with a trusted friend." The book is notably Scripture-heavy, yet Publishers Weekly observed that TerKeurst's "breezy style allows for easy summations of her core points" — a balance that keeps dense theological ground accessible. As one passage from the book itself reads: "Eve's disobedience seems to point to the same struggle I have when I don't like God's plan: surely I can do this better than God." That voice — self-implicating, direct, laced with wry self-awareness — runs throughout. Structurally, each chapter closes with a "Going to the Well" section containing additional Scripture quotations, discussion questions, and a prayer, making the book function as a guided resource rather than a purely narrative read. For someone in acute grief or crisis who is less inclined to open a Bible independently, Publishers Weekly noted, these built-in touchpoints serve a practical pastoral purpose.

The book's density of Scripture is both a strength and a natural constraint on its audience. Readers who do not share a Christian framework, or who are seeking a secular grief-and-resilience guide, will find the book's entire architecture — its arguments, comfort, and calls to action — rooted in biblical faith in ways that are not incidental but foundational. The framework is not designed to translate outside that tradition. Additionally, while TerKeurst's personal disclosures are the book's emotional engine, readers who prefer more distance between author and subject, or who want a more systematic theological treatment rather than a narrative-driven one, may find the highly personal register less suited to their needs.

It's Not Supposed to Be This Way is designed for Christian readers — particularly women — who are in the middle of circumstances that feel irreparable: betrayal, illness, grief, or the particular anguish of prayers that seem to go unanswered. Its blend of memoir, Bible study, and discussion guide format also makes it well suited to small-group settings, where the "Going to the Well" sections provide ready-made structure. Readers already familiar with TerKeurst's previous work, especially Uninvited, will find a consistent voice and an expanded vulnerability here. For its intended audience, the book is designed to offer not a resolution to suffering but a reorientation within it — an invitation, as the publisher puts it, to find hope and assurance in God's faithfulness when the world is crumbling.