Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing: A Memoir by Matthew Perry cover

Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing: A Memoir

by Matthew Perry

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At a glance

Pages272
First published2022
Audiobook8h · Matthew Perry
AudienceAdult
ISBN1250866448

About the Author

Matthew Perry

1 book reviewed

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Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing

A Memoir

by Matthew Perry

LuvemBooks Verdict

Best for

Fans of Friends who want to understand the man behind Chandler Bing, and readers drawn to addiction narratives told with raw honesty rather than tidy resolution.

Worth it if

You value candor and dark humor over literary polish, or are looking for an unflinching, first-person account of how addiction can coexist with — and corrode — extraordinary fame.

Skip if

You're expecting a tightly structured, literarily ambitious memoir rather than a candid but sometimes uneven personal confession — critics note Perry is more of a blurter than a craftsman.

4.5from 62,156 Amazon ratings— reader ratings, not a LuvemBooks score

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Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing is Matthew Perry's unflinching memoir chronicling his decades-long struggle with alcoholism and addiction, his rise to fame as Chandler Bing on Friends, and the life-threatening health scare that preceded his recovery. Candid, darkly funny, and deeply personal, the book is most rewarding for readers who want the unvarnished truth behind Perry's public persona — though critics note it reads as the work of an honest "blurter" rather than a polished literary storyteller. Those who came to care about Perry through Friends and are drawn to addiction narratives told from within the experience will find the most value here.
Is it worth reading?
For readers who connected with Perry through Friends or who are drawn to addiction narratives told with raw honesty rather than comfortable resolution, Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing delivers genuine emotional value. Critics described it as 'candid, darkly funny...poignant,' and People called it 'a heartbreakingly beautiful memoir.' The caveat — flagged by more than one critic — is that Perry is, in a reviewer's memorable phrase, 'a blurter, not a storyteller': the candor that makes the book compelling can also make it feel structurally uneven. Aimee DeLong of The Tribune called it 'a moving, yet disappointing memoir,' a verdict that sums up the gap between the emotional pull of the material and its literary craft.
Similar books
Readers drawn to Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing will find common ground in several other candid celebrity and life-experience memoirs. Michael J. Fox's No Time Like the Future explores illness, resilience, and the private reality beneath a beloved public persona — themes that closely parallel Perry's own. Jennifer Grey's Out of the Corner is another frank Hollywood memoir that excavates the distance between a famous face and the interior life behind it. For readers whose interest leans toward memoir confronting mortality and the search for meaning, Paul Kalanithi's When Breath Becomes Air offers a deeply moving companion read. Patrick Stewart's Making It So: A Memoir and Jewel's Never Broken: Songs Are Only Half the Story round out the list of similarly candid life narratives from public figures navigating private struggle.
Who should read this?
Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing is most directly for readers who came to care about Perry through Friends and want to understand the man behind Chandler Bing. Beyond that core audience, it speaks to anyone drawn to addiction narratives told with raw candor rather than comfortable resolution, and to readers who value honesty over literary polish in their memoirs. Critics were clear that readers expecting a tightly structured narrative arc or the craft of a serious memoirist may find the book uneven — so it rewards those who can meet Perry on his own terms.
About Matthew Perry
Matthew Perry was an American-Canadian actor and author. On November 1, 2022, he published Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing, a memoir released by Macmillan Publishers (Headline in the UK) with a foreword by Lisa Kudrow, in which he details his struggles with alcoholism and painkiller dependency. Perry passed away on October 28, 2023, a year after the memoir's release.
Was the memoir controversial?
The memoir generated notable controversy over a passage referencing Keanu Reeves, which Perry later stated he would remove in future editions. Critics also raised questions about whether certain celebrity memoir conventions — including candid assessments of people in Perry's orbit — sat comfortably alongside the book's tone of self-reflection. These episodes serve as a reminder, as the review notes, that 'celebrity memoirs carry their own particular hazards.'
Is the audiobook worth it?
For a memoir this personal, the audiobook carries a particular appeal: Perry narrated it himself, adding an intimate dimension that reinforces the book's confessional, conversational tone. Given that much of what critics praised is Perry's distinctive voice — 'candid, darkly funny...poignant' — hearing it delivered in his own words is a natural fit for the material. The audiobook runs approximately 8 hours.
Summarize this book

Summarize this book

Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing is Matthew Perry's memoir tracing his journey from childhood ambition through his decade as Chandler Bing on Friends, and into the harrowing depths of his decades-long struggle with alcoholism and addiction. The book opens with Perry's characteristically disarming voice — "Hi, my name is Matthew, although you may know me by another name. My friends call me Matty" — and maintains a darkly comic, self-aware tone throughout. It also ventures behind the scenes of Friends itself, features a foreword by co-star Lisa Kudrow, and includes Perry's account of a life-threatening health scare and his subsequent recovery. Published on November 1, 2022, the memoir debuted as an instant #1 New York Times bestseller and #1 international bestseller; Perry's death on October 28, 2023 — exactly one year later — lent it an inadvertent weight as both personal testament and farewell.

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Age & Reading Level

Recommended age

Ages 16+

Reading level

Adult

Content to know about

detailed alcohol and drug addiction
life-threatening health crisis
descriptions of painkiller dependency

Best for: Adults / mature 16+ — sustained focus on addiction, painkiller dependency, and serious illness

Skip if you're looking for a tightly structured literary memoir with a polished narrative arc

Editorial Review

Matthew Perry's Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing is an instant #1 New York Times bestseller and #1 international bestseller in which the beloved star of Friends chronicles his decades-long struggle with alcoholism and addiction, his journey from childhood ambition to fame, and his recovery in the aftermath of a life-threatening health scare. Published by Flatiron Books (an imprint of Macmillan Publishers) on November 1, 2022 — a year before Perry's death on October 28, 2023 — the memoir earned praise from outlets including People and critical coverage, while drawing more measured responses from critics who noted its limitations as a work of literary storytelling.…

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